T h a t ‘ s O n e S m a l l S t e p f o r H u m a n s
O n e G i a n t L e a p f o r H u m a n k i n d !
LOS ANGELES, CALIF. – July 20, 2069. Today the world celebrates humanity’s most glorious achievement — the Apollo 11 Moon landing! Hooray! It’s been exactly one hundred years since humans first walked on the Moon!
Earlier today, millions took part in a Facebook ticker-tape parade that paid tribute to Apollo 11 — the greatest triumph in human history! Today, our nation proudly honors the brave astronauts of Apollo 11!
One hundred years ago today, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin lived the dream of all humans — they walked on the Moon!
When Armstrong first set foot on the lunar surface, he spoke his famous line: “That’s one small step for humans, one giant leap for humankind.”
But remarkably, after one hundred years, the conspiracy theorists stubbornly cling to their belief that Apollo 11 was somehow “faked” — on a television sound-stage in Hollywood, Calif.
These tin-foil theories do get old, but they never seem to die. The conspiracy theorists claim that NASA faked the Moon landings in order to justify its enormous budget and to make the nation feel good about itself.
After all these years, Moon landing deniers ask the same tired, old questions. So let’s answer those questions once and for all!
Question No. 1: “Why has nobody, in a hundred years, returned to the Moon?”
First of all, we can no longer launch rockets into space — because we no longer have access to the Florida launchpads — because, of course, the entire state of Florida has been underwater for almost 30 years! NASA authorities explain that, with no access to the launchpads, blastoff is simply impossible.
Second, we sought to go to the Moon to place communication satellites on the lunar surface, instead of placing them in earth orbit which, many years ago, became heavily congested with satellite traffic. But today, we connect with family and friends thanks to MECCA, (“The Mandatory Educational Childhood Chipping Act of 2028”). Since 2028, after more than 40 years of chipping newborns, fully 97% of the nation is now chipped. Today, everyone is directly interconnected through Googleplex — so we no longer need communication satellites.
Third, we sought to go to the moon to harvest raw “energy,” Helium-3, to solve an energy crisis. But remember, that energy crisis was based on the overwhelming demands of more than 8 billion souls! Today, however, thanks to the Sustainability Act of 2030, Earth now has a sustainable population of just under 500 million — and we also have renewable blue-green energy. In other words, there’s no more energy crisis and no need to harvest Helium-3 on the Moon.
Question No. 2: “How did they go to the Moon with no GPS?”
Yes, it’s true, 100 years ago, GPS had not yet been invented. But the brave Apollo astronauts had no need for such gadgets. The astronauts were “Top Gun” fighter pilots who flew on guts and instinct.
Truth is, the robust men of Apollo 11 navigated through space the old-fashioned way — they used maps!
Question No. 3: “How did the Apollo astronauts make it through the deadly radiation in outer space?”
Today, with all our genetic modifications, additions and deletions — we cannot withstand the harsh radiation in outer space; however, the Apollo astronauts were able to endure it because, literally, they were a breed apart.
For one thing, the astronauts were not injected with sex-neutral hormones like children today. Back in the day, men were allowed to bio-synthesize their own sex hormones including testosterone. NASA scientists now believe that the astronauts’ abundant testosterone served as a “lead shield” to protect them from deadly cosmic rays in outer space.
The CDC further indicates that humans from one hundred years ago were able to form antibodies to radiation and thus achieve immunity to radiation sickness.
Thanks to the Safe and Effective Vaccination Act of 2025, we eradicated measles, chicken pox, and AIDS, but curiously, it left us with no natural immunity to cosmic rays. In short, space travel is just too dangerous for trans-humans.
But the good news is that Merck is now developing an experimental radiation sickness vaccine — to provide astronauts with immunity to cosmic rays in outer space. Investors are hoping the vaccine will be available in the next 2 – 3 years, just in time for a return to the Moon — to celebrate the nation’ s tricentennial in 2076!
It’s truly remarkable that Moon landing conspiracies still persist, especially because all conspiracy theories were officially debunked in the Mandatory Memory Wipe Act of 2026.
And then there’s the hard evidence — the photographs taken on the Moon. Remember, the lunar photographs were taken with ancient cameras that used celluloid film, which is impossible to alter — unlike digital images of today which are easily altered.
The photographs of Apollo 11 simply could not have been altered or faked. Consider the famous photograph of Buzz Aldrin — proudly flying our N.W.O. flag amidst the magnificent desolation of the lunar landscape — this photo is as real as it gets!
The truth about conspiracy theorists is this: they have a deep-seated resentment of government. Studies show that conspiracy theorists are narcissistic megalomaniacs with borderline personalities — along with obsessive-compulsive needs to be the center of attention — plus they’re totally paranoid.
We wisely put our faith in the Scientific Priesthood. Why?–because Science holds all the answers! And we have but one duty– i.e., to accept, without question, the answers Science bestows upon us.
Today, we celebrate Apollo 11! Join us — as we celebrate one hundred years of Science!
– T H E E N D –
Produced and Directed by TMP’s Midnight Minions
in association with Chapter Eleven Productions,
Fly-By-Night Management Services, and
Neurotica Entertainment Group
“Science is as much of a religion
as any religion has ever been.”
Dr. Nancy L. Swanson, PhD